The Divine Arrangement
by Nanenna
Summary: Lord Fiersome, patron god of the city, has asked for a most unorthodox sacrifice for the upcoming summer solstice celebration. But enough about that, Sans is more worried about finally confessing to the hot barkeep who works at his favorite tavern! Maybe, just maybe, the guy might actually like him back. Sans can only hope.
1. A Confession of Love

Sans sat behind his stall, feet up on the counter, leaning back in his chair with the front two legs off the ground, hands behind his skull, eyes slitted as he watched the city guard closing the gate for the evening.

"SANS! ARE YOU SLACKING OFF AGAIN?"

Sans opened one eye to look up at Papyrus as he approached, hands on hips and the usual scowl on his face. Sans grinned all the wider. "not technically slacking if my shift's over."

"NOT UNTIL THE GATE IS CLOSED AND SECURED FOR THE NIGHT IT'S NOT."

"eh, no one is getting in or out while they're doing that." Sans let his chair fall forward with a loud thump, then sat up properly to reach under his stall. He opened a cupboard he had convinced Papyrus to add, inside was a small metal bowl with an equally small flame in the center, staring up at him with big, dark eyes. Next to the flame were two meat pastries, both of which Sans pulled out. He offered one to Papyrus.

"THANK YOU, BROTHER." Papyrus took the pastry and happily bit into it. His smile turned into a frown as he watched Sans break off a piece of his pastry to feed to the flame. "I STILL CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE USING A HOLY FLAME TO KEEP A PAIR OF PASTRIES WARM."

"what else do you expect me to do?" Sans asked with a laugh as he closed the cupboard for the night. "you gotta buy them early, bro, bakeries do all their baking in the morning."

"IT JUST DOESN'T SEEM RIGHT TO USE SOMETHING DIVINE FOR SOMETHING SO MUNDANE."

"and how many holy flames just sit in restaurant windows or," Sans gasped and dramatically put a hand to his chest in mock shock, "use them to cook common, every day food?" Sans winked after that, then crammed his entire pastry into his teeth.

"THIS SPECIFIC FLAME IS SUPPOSED TO BE A BEACON OF WELCOME TO ANYONE ENTERING THE CITY. ANYWAY," Papyrus said with a wave of his free hand, "WE MUST HURRY IF WE ARE TO BE AT OUR POSTS ON TIME FOR THE DUSK SHIFT CHANGE." He quickly ate the rest of his pastry as Sans made a point of standing and stretching, several joints popping and cracking loudly, before ambling in the direction of the city walls.

"hear any interesting rumors today?" He asked as they walked.

"LET'S SEE… I HEAR A FAMILY BY THE NAME OF PYROPE IS MOVING IN A FEW HOUSES DOWN FROM US."

"huh, really? i hadn't heard that."

"NYEH HEH HEH!" Papyrus bounced happily as they climbed the stairs up to the top of the city wall. "FOR ONCE I HAVE HEARD A RUMOR BEFORE YOU!"

"yeah, good for you."

"IT'S ONLY BECAUSE YOU WORK ONE OF THE CITY GATES DURING THE DAY, YOU HEAR ALL THE MOST INTERESTING NEWS AS IT ENTERS THE CITY. BUT! THAT IS ONLY! OUTSIDE NEWS! I AM GOING TO BECOME A REGULAR RUMOR MONGER FOR RUMORS INSIDE THE CITY, THEN EVERYONE WILL COME TO ME FOR THE LATEST NEWS!"

"makes sense, everyone will be lining up from all directions to talk to you."

"WHO WOULDN'T WANT TO HEAR ALL THE LATEST GOSSIP AND HEARSAY? ONLY THE TRUE AND KIND GOSSIP AND HEARSAY, MIND YOU. I REFUSE TO BE ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE WHO SPREAD NONSENSE JUST FOR A LITTLE CHEAP ATTENTION. WAIT. WHY DO I GET THE FEELING YOU WERE JUST SETTING ME UP FOR ONE OF YOUR DEPLORABLE PUNS?"

"people will be coming from north, east, west, and south to get the latest news." Sans couldn't help a snicker as he watched the expression on Papyrus's face twist and morph.

"UGH! GO TO WORK, SANS!" Papyrus pointed towards the head nightwatchman handing out everyone's assignments for the shift. Sans laughed again as he joined the small crowd of monsters milling around her. Papyrus took that moment to carefully look over his armor.

"Alright, Sans," Catrina, the head nightwatchman, said once Sans ambled over, "tonight you're with Davis. Eastern wall. First shift."

Sans glanced over to where Davis Pyrope was chatting with one of the other nightwatchmen, Davis looked over and quickly nodded back. "sure, working with davis, got it." Once Papyrus had bid farewell, the pair headed out to relieve the watchmen they were replacing. "so," Sans began as they started their patrol, "i hear there's a family moving in near us, go by the name pyrope, any relation?"

"Oh yeah, my cousin decided to move here. Penelope's a real sweet heart, just got married last year actually. Guess she and the new spouse wanted to move somewhere a little more fire friendly. Don't get me wrong, Auldshoppe is a lovely city, but there's just something a bit homier about living in a city who's patron god is of fire."

"i mean, i guess."

"For fire elementals like us, I meant," Davis added with a laugh as they continued their patrol of the wall. "Lord Gerson's a good guy, but there's just something a bit more welcoming about Lord Fiersome for us fire elementals."

Sans shrugged, "guess i just never really noticed a difference."

"Well sure, if you've never lived anywhere else I suppose you wouldn't."

"y-yeah…" Sans's eyes darted briefly to Davis's face, they were walking a little ahead of Sans, looking over the wall. Sans shoved his hands in his pockets, placid grin firmly in place. "so i was thinking of taking over a housewarming gift, what do penelope and the spouse like?"

Davis happily started talking about their cousin and what they knew of her and her spouse, that devolved into talking about Davis's uncle, and then the rest of their family. Sans nodded and made agreeing sounds in all the right places to keep Davis chattering all night long, though Davis was pretty distracted by actually keeping watch like they were supposed to.

Sans did look over the wall into the empty seeming countryside from time to time, the light in every farmhouse snuffed as the farmers slept soundly within. The distant lights of Auldshoppe's walls were more eye catching, shining like a string of festival lanterns. The inside of their city drew the eye as well, the street lamps burning merrily with only the occasional city guard patrol to disturb the quiet. But more often than not Sans's eyes were drawn heavenward, where all but the brightest stars were overshadowed by the bright bonfires on the wall. All in all not a bad view, and aside from having to keep on the move and checking in with the other nightwatchmen for the whole shift, it was a pretty easy job.

And then it was quitting time. Papyrus had a longer shift tonight, so Sans only waved briefly as he headed back into the city. The street lamps flickered overhead, lighting the way as he trudged slowly down the side of the street. He was, heh, bone tired. Would love to just sleep for a whole week, but his feet weren't taking him home, not quite yet. Instead he soon found himself in front of a building with a worn sign hanging in front featuring a yellow sheep on it in faded paint, the large front windows lit with a welcoming glow.

Sans pushed open the door and looked up as he stepped in. His shoulders fell as a relieved sigh passed his teeth. There was just a bit more pep in his step as he wove his way between empty tables up to the bar, sitting on the opposite end from the only other customer. He slumped once seated, head languidly resting on his hand as his eye lights followed the brightest glowing fire in the room.

"heya grillby, haven't seen you in a while."

The fire elemental nodded to Sans as he wandered over, hands busily wiping down a mug. There was a worried crease to his brow, though any further expression was hidden behind a pair of thick spectacles.

"just been a long day is all, don't worry about it." Sans dug a couple gold out of his pocket and laid it on the bar. "a hot meal would help though."

Grillby nodded and took the gold, then walked into the back. Sans hummed absently to himself while he waited, the little holy flame he had parked himself next to hummed quietly along. He'd gone through three repetitions of the song before the humming dwindled and faded away. Grillby sure was taking his time.

Eventually he did come back, carrying two plates. Sans sat up straight and looked on in wonder as a cut of roast dripping in sauce next to a heap of grilled vegetables and bowl of porridge with a thick slice of bread slathered in butter balanced on the edge.

"what's going on? grillby, i didn't give you enough gold for all this."

"… Don't worry, my treat." Grillby placed the generous meal before Sans. He squinted, was that honey on the bread?

"you serious?"

Grillby nodded, flickers of cheery yellow sparking in his usually orange flames.

Sans's grin softened, "you're the best, you know that?" Sans reached for the bread first, he dipped it in the porridge before ripping a small piece off. The little holy flame at his elbow eagerly opened the mouth they didn't have a moment before, Sans popped the piece in, then started in on the meal himself.

"… How is it?"

"it's good, it's really good."

Grillby beamed, flames burning higher at the praise. Then he went to tend to the other customer.

Sans ate slowly, savoring each bite, pausing every now and again to feed another little sliver or crumb to the holy flame. Grillby just shook his head as he passed by Sans. "… You overfeed them."

"someone has to."

That got a laugh out of Grillby, his flames flickering higher and whole face turning bright yellow.

When Sans was working on the last of his food the other patron was escorted stumbling and cursing out the door. Grillby dusted his hands off, grumbling to himself as he walked back behind the bar, "… Really, how many tankards of ale does one monster even need?"

"technically monsters don't **need** any tankards of ale." That just set Grillby off on more grumbling as he started wiping the bar down with quick, stilted motions. Sans was quiet for a moment, then his grin spread all the wider. "you know, grillby, the food always tastes better when you make it." Sans had his face angled down, fork idly moving the last few bits of greens through streaks of gravy, but his eyes were locked on Grillby to catch his reaction.

"… Thank you." Grillby's face had lit up, going yellow again as his flames shot high enough to nearly touch the ceiling. Two white spots bloomed just under his spectacles, was that a blush?

Sans snickered, his grin spreading wider and wider as he watched Grillby's reaction. "how do you do it?"

"… I suppose it's because I'm a fire elemental."

"not the only one in town."

Grillby rested his weight on an elbow as he leaned over the bar, his flames returning to their usual languid wavering. "… Perhaps it is the control that comes with using my own flames. Or perhaps it is the feeling I put into everything I make."

"yeah?" Sans leaned closer himself, his plates carelessly getting shoved out of the way. "you put feelings into your cooking?"

"… Everyone does." Grillby's other elbow came up to rest on the bar, better support as he leaned all the farther, their faces mere inches apart. "… But I may be putting more… _care_ into what I make for you." A glowing crack opened in Grillby's face, one of Grillby's rare smiles.

Sans closed the distance between them, their magic mixing beautifully if only for a moment. Sans pulled back just enough to separate, a blush lighting up his face. Grillby's own face had brightened into shades of pale yellow and the brilliant white blush, more sparks of white flickering through his flames. The pair stared at each other in shocked silence, Sans licked his teeth nervously. Then Grillby leaned forward, capturing Sans's mouth again. Heat swirled around Sans's face, warming his teeth where their mouths met. He opened his teeth, letting the heat flow into his mouth. He felt Grillby shift, heard something scrape against the bar, then warmth pressed into his humerus, comforting and steady. Heat poured into Sans's orbits, his nasal cavity, his mouth. Sans lifted a hand to cradle Grillby's face, stretching out the kiss as his own magic sparked and tingled. All of the heat swirling around and through Sans contrasted deliciously with the cold his magic naturally emitted.

After a short eternity Grillby pulled back. Sans stayed where he was, eyes unwilling to open quite yet (when had he closed them?) Grillby gave a soft sigh, then more warmth pressed against Sans's other humerus. The thumb of Sans's hand still cradling Grillby's face gently began stroking over his flames. Sans's orbits finally blinked open as he grinned softly up at Grillby. "that was nice."

A white hot smile spread across Grillby's face. "… Indeed."

The door banged open.

"SANS! OF COURSE YOU'RE HERE, AS I KNEW YOU WOULD BE. I DIDN'T EVEN BOTHER GOING HOME FIRST." Papyrus stood scowling in the doorway, arms crossed petulantly over his chest. The scowl and stance softened as he took in the scene before him, a hand coming up to hover near his teeth. "OH MY GOODNESS, AM I INTERRUPTING SOMETHING?" His orbits lit up, practically glittering like stars. "OH DON'T MIND ME, I'LL JUST BE ON MY WAY. I'LL SEE YOU AT HOME, BROTHER. NYEH HEH HEH!" Just as quickly and suddenly as he arrived, Papyrus slammed the door shut and could be heard laughing boisterously down the street.

A blush had taken up permanent residence over the entirety of Sans's face. "i should probably get going. oh man." Sans sighed and ran his hands down his face, stretching out his features as his fingers caught on them. "he's probably going to tease me like nobody's business."

Grillby chuckled.

"i'll uh… i'll see you around, right?"

"… … … Yes."

"great! uh… that's great…" Sans's eyelights jittered as they darted about the room. He leaned forward and pressed his teeth against Grillby's face with a quick spark of magic, then pulled away and scrambled off his seat. "then i'll see you around. good night." Sans hastily pushed his way out the door, waving as he passed the window and out of sight.

Grillby waved back, then brought up a hand to touch where Sans had left his kiss. "… Good night."


	2. A Proclamation

Sans glared down into the little cupboard under his stall, there were four pastries left. Three he could explain to Papyrus, but four was pushing it. To say today had been a slow day was an absolute understatement, for some reason barely anyone had come into the city, and people heading out usually don't stop for a bite. Ugh, desperate times called for desperate measures. Sans picked up one of the pastries and held it out enticingly. Soon enough a pair of monsters hurrying towards the gate stopped to look at him.

"meat pastry," Sans supplied helpfully, "only 30g."

"Woof, that's pretty pricey!"

"Yeah," the monster's companion said with a sneer, "what's in it? Veal? Peacock?"

"you think you're gonna find a bakery or food stand between here and wherever you're going?" Sans waved over the pastry, disturbing the thin stream of steam wafting off it. "piping hot and convenient."

"And awfully small."

With a sigh Sans snagged the other extra pastry out. "tell ya what, these are my last two, so i'll give you a two for one deal. 30g for both."

"That is a good deal." The first monster quickly dug out the coins and tossed them onto the stall's surface while snatching the pastries from him. They handed one over to their companion and without another word were already walking away as they bit into them.

"wow, rude." Sans gathered up the coins and pocketed them with a scowl. His expression quickly smoothed out as he leaned back in his chair, front legs off the ground, fingers laced behind his skull, whistling a cheery, haunting tune. The holy flame tucked safely in their cupboard hummed along.

Several city guards came marching up, Sans waved lazily as they approached. "time to lock up for the night?"

"Just about."

"good, today's been boring as watching paint dry."

"Boring is good, boring means nothing awful happened."

"yeah, you got a point there." Sans let his chair fall forward and let out a great yawn. "so aside from everyone and their brother leaving town, nothing unusual to report."

The guard nodded.

"how about you?"

"What? Oh," the guard snickered, "nothing to, heh, report. But have you heard what Lord Fiersome chose for this year's summer solstice sacrifice?"

"the good ol' triple s. but you know, i actually haven't. no one's wanted to chit chat on their way out. i doubt anything is going to top the mayor's wine collection five years ago." Sans chuckled to himself as he started to stretch.

"This year he's chosen a mortal."

Sans stopped mid stretch, he slowly shifted to stare up at the guard in shock. "what, really?"

The guard nodded. "It's true, I stopped in at the temple to confirm it myself."

"that's just… that's just weird."

"It is, isn't it? I know Lord Fiersome fought in the war but damn, that's hardcore."

"wait, what're you talking about? what does the war have to do with anything?"

"I was just kind of hoping it means there's a human we can use for the sacrifice."

"whoa, hold your snails, back it up there a minute. what?! why would you want a human anywhere near us after the war?"

"If Lord Fiersome wants us to kill someone for him, a human's a much better option than any of us, right?"

"lord fiersome wants us to murder someone for him?!"

"Well… it's a mortal sacrifice so…"

"yeah, i get that part, but did the priests say they were going to actually kill someone?"

"Well no… but-"

"you know how the solstice works, there's a token sacrifice on lord fiersome's altar and the rest goes to the priests. probably they'll just cut off some fur or a claw tip or something. i mean, what do you take lord fiersome for? a human?"

The guard sighed, "Yeah, okay. I shouldn't let the rumors running around get to me. It's just…"

There were shouts from the other guards, one of them calling an "All clear!"

"Looks like I've got to get back to work."

"sure, sure. good luck with that gate, i hear they can be a real pain in the back door." Sans waved the guard off, who snickered as they went to join the others. Sans resumed his relaxed posture, though his smile was strained as he stared up at the golden sky.

"SANS! HAVE YOU HEARD THE NEWS?" Papyrus came bounding over, eagerly bouncing on his feet.

"probably not, it's been a slow day over here." Sans opened the cupboard and pulled out the pastries, handing one over to Papyrus.

"TODAY IS THE DAY LORD FIERSOME CHOOSES WHAT WILL BE SACRIFICED TO HIM ON THE SUMMER SOLSTICE."

"yeah, i knew that." Sans fed a piece of his pastry to the little holy flame and shut the cupboard before finally turning to face Papyrus. "but so far no one's wanted to stop and chat about it."

"LORD FIERSOME HAS CHOSEN SOMETHING COMPLETELY UNORTHODOX AND ALSO VERY UNUSUAL THIS YEAR. YOU WON'T BELIEVE IT NOR EVEN BE ABLE TO GUESS!" Papyrus vibrated in place, Sans simply made a 'continue' motion with his free hand even as he shoved the whole pastry into his teeth. "LORD FIERSOME. HAS CHOSEN. A…" Papyrus paused for dramatic tension, "MORTAL SACRIFICE!"

Sans gasped and put a hand to his sternum, "no!"

"YES! I EVEN WENT TO VISIT THE TEMPLE TO CONFIRM IT MYSELF. CAN YOU BELIEVE SOME OTHER VISITORS TO THE TEMPLE THOUGHT THAT MEANT LORD FIERSOME HAD DEMANDED HIS PRIESTS HURT SOMEONE?"

"what? that's ridiculous, that's not how the sacrifice works at all."

"I KNOW! FORTUNATELY THE PRIESTS AGREED WITH ME WHEN I TOLD THE OTHER VISITORS SO. THE PRIESTS SAY THEY HAVE TO DIVINE AND INTERPRET FURTHER INSTRUCTIONS STILL, BUT THEY'RE ALL CERTAIN THAT NO ONE IS GOING TO HAVE TO DIE."

"that's good. but uh… aren't we going to be late?" Sans looked up to where the golden hue was already fading into inky darkness.

"OH MY! THE GATE IS ALL SECURED AND THE SUN IS ALMOST SET, HOW COULD YOU MAKE ME SO LATE?!" Papyrus made shooing motions at Sans to get him out of his seat and heading for the wall. Sans just laughed and let himself be shooed. "BUT THIS IS SO EXCITING, ISN'T IT? NO ONE'S EVER HEARD OF ANY OF THE GODS ASKING FOR MORTALS BEFORE."

"yeah, must be a once in a lifetime kind of thing."

There was a moment of silence as they climbed the stairs. "SANS, IT'S NOT SOMETHING FUNNY TO JOKE ABOUT, PEOPLE ARE REALLY SCARED LORD FIERSOME IS GOING TO… TO HURT SOMEONE."

"no, don't be like that. we both know that's not what he's asking." They continued on in silence for another agonizingly long moment. "but if it makes you feel better, i won't joke about it anymore."

"THANK YOU, BROTHER."

"sure, i'll just tell some knock knock jokes instead." Sans winked up at Papyrus.

Papyrus groaned and rolled his eyes before leaving Sans behind as he went to get his assignment for the evening. Sans was partnered with an air elemental who took the form of smoke.

"Can you believe Lord Fiersome has demanded a living sacrifice this time? I'm shocked! Just shocked! And appalled too!"

It seemed she was full of hot air. "nowhere in the announcement did i hear the words 'kill' or 'dust.'"

"Well what else could it possibly mean? I just can't believe it though, I've **never** heard of any god demanding a mortal sacrifice before."

The rest of Sans's shift followed that same pattern, every nightwatchman he had to interact with said basically the same thing. None of them could believe it, none of them listened when Sans refused to believe it. It's like they **wanted** it to be true just to have some drama to gossip about.

"i take it back, i really am sorry for joking about this." Sans groaned as he held himself up with an arm on the parapet.

"THERE, THERE," Papyrus gently pat his back, "DON'T WORRY BROTHER, I'M SURE THEY'LL CALM DOWN AND STOP WORRYING IN NO TIME AT ALL."

"we can only hope." Sans sighed deeply.

"ARE YOU GOING TO VISIT THE GOLDEN LAMB?"

"i uh… yeah. gonna stop by on my way home."

Papyrus clapped and smiled brightly, "I WISH YOU LUCK! I HOPE YOUR INTENDED WILL ACTUALLY BE THERE AND YOU GET TO SEE HIM. AND ALSO FIND A BETTER WAY TO GET IN CONTACT WITH HIM IN THE FUTURE."

Sans couldn't help blushing at that. "don't think he can count as my intended yet," he mumbled with hunched shoulders, eyes steadfastly on a brick a few yards away.

"NO NEED TO BE SHY, I SAW THE WAY YOU TWO WERE ENTANGLED NOT EVEN A FORTNIGHT AGO."

Sans smiled at the memory, his soul fluttering with the ghostly echoes of warmth. "yeah, but…"

"NO BUTS, YOU SHOULD GET GOING. AFTER ALL, THE COURTING PROCESS IS A LONG AND INVOLVED ONE. AND AS EVERYONE KNOWS, YOU DRAG YOUR FEET TO DO ANYTHING, THE SOONER YOU START THE SOONER YOU CAN SUCCESSFULLY ROMANCE YOUR GREASY TAVERN KEEPER." He gently pushed Sans towards the stairs.

"alright, i get it." Sans's blush burned all the darker at his baby brother's words. "i'll see you at home?"

"OF COURSE! HAVE FUN ON YOUR RENDEZVOUS!"

"don't think it counts as one if it's not planned," Sans mumbled to himself as he started the long trek to the Golden Lamb. The windows were brightly lit, the door propped open enticingly. Somehow Sans didn't feel like going in. He peeked through the open door anyway.

Jack, a portly gray rabbit with a pair of slim antlers sprouting from his forehead, stood behind the bar. Sans sighed in disappointment. Nearly two weeks since he had seen Grillby last, not the longest time he'd gone without seeing him, but after that last encounter… Sans debated going in and asking Jack how to find the elusive fire elemental, he was the tavern's owner after all. But what could Sans say? 'hey, you know that guy that works at the bar every once in a great while? i think we might be courting, know where he lives?' Sans shook his head, no way. Besides, Grillby had said they'd see each other again, he'd give the guy at least two weeks before getting impatient.

Jack just happened to look up right as Sans started to turn away. "Welcome, welcome! A guardsman just off duty? No? Ah, a nightwatchman then, come in an' rest a spell 'fore goin' home. Have a bite."

Sans shrugged, he could eat. He went up to the bar and took his usual seat next to the holy flame. He dug out a few coins and handed them over to Jack. Jack nodded and disappeared into the kitchen. Sans had just enough time to look around and assure himself the tavern truly was empty before Jack came back out. He set a plate heaped full of steaming food before Sans, then leaned against the bar and smiled jovially at him.

"I've seen ya 'round afore, yeah?"

"sure, i'll stop in after my shift sometimes, not a lot of places will stay open at all hours." He plucked a small piece off his meal and fed it to the holy flame, then started in himself.

Jack smiled and nodded. "Yeah! Course, the guard an' the watch work so hard t' protect us, keep the city safe, an' yet so few 'preciate it. You lot deserve a hot meal an' a cold drink at th' end of yer day just like anyone else."

"and we appreciate it too." Sans took a bite as he considered his next step very carefully. "staying open all the time must be hard, someone's always gotta be down here keeping an eye on things."

Jack smiled all the wider and nodded again. "Yeah, you understand. The missus an' I struggle with it sometimes, there's only so much family we got t' help, an' the li'l ones need a lotta mindin'."

"is it only ever family?"

"Who else?" Jack laughed, great heart guffaws that shook his large belly.

"i dunno, just sometimes there's this fire elemental minding the place."

"Ah, Grillby. Good monster, he is, always nice t' have a night off fer a change."

"i was kind of hoping to see him again."

"Got yer eye on the fellow, ay?" Jack grinned and winked at Sans. "Don't blame ya one bit, if I weren't married I might fancy him m'self."

Sans blushed and looked back down at his half eaten plate. "you wouldn't know how to find him, would you?"

Jack sighed and looked mournfully at Sans. "Sorry, lad, can't say."

"not even a different job he works? surely he doesn't make a living just minding your tavern one night every once in a while."

Jack just shook his head, "I don't know what t' tell ya."

Sans nodded, morosely going back to his meal. He ended up idly pushing the remains around his plate. Of course Jack was too polite to just give random strangers directions to a friend's home. Sans shoved a heaping forkful into his teeth, intent on finishing quickly and heading home.

"So…" Jack trailed off, seemingly unsure what to talk about next. "Ya hear 'bout the summer solstice?"

"of course, mortal sacrifice this year."

"A shame the way everyone is panickin' over it, as if Lord Fiersome would do anythin' other than protect ev'ry last one o' us."

Sans grinned up at Jack, "i've been saying the same thing all night."

Jack smiled wide and nodded knowingly.


	3. A Petition

There were other gods Sans could ask favors of, not in any way lesser compared to Lord Fiersome, but not immediately as busy. Being patron god of five cities was a lot of work, not to mention the summer solstice coming up. He could have asked any of the high gods, they were basically the patron gods of all monsterkind after all. Or there were hoards of low gods who had little shrines sprinkled all through the city, Sans could have spent his day off visiting any of them, or even all of them. But Sans was a one stone kind of guy and his curiosity would be an easy bird to hit. Thus he found himself with offering in hand as he approached Lord Fiersome's temple, along with a sizable crowd.

"Welcome, welcome! Welcome all, if you're, like, here for a holy flame please head to the left side of the courtyard," a priest near the wide entryway called with a smile, she motioned a paw at a brazier full of staring holy flames that was indeed on the left side of the courtyard. "If you have questions Caldera will be totally happy to answer them." She motioned towards a friendly volcano standing on… something Sans couldn't make out through the people crowded around them. They were a bit above most monsters' heads anyway.

"i uh… i've got a favor to ask his lordship," Sans said as he approached the priest, handkerchief wrapped offering held up as if to prove his sincerity.

"Omigod! A lot of people have been, like, asking favors lately," the priest said with a toothy, knowing smile.

"heh, yeah. funny how that works."

"Jest head to the temple's entrance, someone will totally take you to the altar."

"thanks." Sans nodded to the priest before heading into the courtyard. He eyed the crowd around the volcano, they were either from the Vulkin family or the Vulking family, as he approached the crowd. While he was here he may as well hear what they have to say.

"… an old ceremony that fell out of practice generations ago. Rather than a traditional sacrifice, Lord Fiersome is calling for a mortal bride." The crowd around Caldera burst with murmurs and confused questions. Sans sidled around the edge of the crowd, trying to find a better spot.

"I know, I know…" Caldera smiled and swayed in place until the shouts quieted down. "It's very exciting! The gods taking mortal spouses used to be common practice ages and ages ago."

"So what's going to happen?" Someone from the crowd shouted.

"On the seventh the arrow will be shot, just like any regular old solstice. It'll land on the household of Lord Fiersome's intended, who will step forward and get married. Isn't it romantic?" Caldera sighed blissfully.

Sans snorted, Papyrus would find it just as sweet and romantic. Well, Sans got half of what he came for, he wished luck to the happy couple, then turned to get away from the crowd. It was rather difficult, more people had joined behind him. He had to elbow and push his way out of the tightly packed cluster of people.

"It may be a marriage, but really it's mostly just ceremonial…" Caldera continued, their voice getting drowned out by people protesting Sans attempts at escape. Sans ignored both the crowd and Caldera as he finally got free and made his way over to the temple proper. A short set of steps led up to a wide entryway with a white rabbit draped in the pale, golden yellow robes all Lord Fiersome's priests wore, this one with a cheery orange sash tied around their waist.

Sans squinted up at them, "basil?"

"Licorice, actually." He smiled at Sans, "Don't worry, it's been a while."

"sure has, not since papyrus and i found an actual place all our own. how's the family doing? got any new siblings?"

"The family's doing just fine, and we do got a new sibling. Little brother named Cinnamon, they're walking and talking already."

"bet the little guy's a terror."

Licorice laughed, "That's what Paprika says. But what brings you here?"

"got a favor to ask." Sans held up his offering again.

"You and half the city," Licorice said as he rolled his eyes. "Well, c'mon then. Fieri's the one doing offerings today."

Sans whistled, "the head guy? didn't think he'd be doing grunt work."

Licorice laughed, "The offerings are never grunt work!"

"eh, what do i know? i'm just a nightwatchman."

Licorice led him into the temple, the entryway opened into a long hall lined with stone columns, each with its own torch burning merrily away. The walls on either side were hung with depictions of Lord Fiersome woven into rich tapestries. Several showed him standing on a battlefield wielding a whip made of flames, similarly flaming dogs standing on either side of him, armor gleaming in the light he cast, the long, yellow flames from his head trailing and swirling dramatically behind him. The rest showed him standing guard over a city, or possibly different cities, Sans couldn't tell from a quick glance.

"So, you hear all the news you came for?" Licorice asked over his shoulder as he led Sans through the hallway.

Sans laughed weakly and shook his head. "most of it, did have one more question."

"May as well ask while you got my undivided attention."

"is it true lord fiersome's other cities have a different sacrifice this year?"

"Well yeah, there's only one bride. The others are all doing wine instead."

"wine? guess that makes sense, he's not going to ask us for wine after that fiasco five years ago."

"Please don't, I wasn't even a priest yet back then." Licorice was fighting to hold back laughter. "Here, the inner court, just go on in when it's your turn. You've done this before, right?"

"yeah, yeah, i know the drill. thanks, licorice, see you around. give my love to the family and all that." Sans gave a languid wave before joining the short line of people waiting to enter the inner court. He idly stared around him, trying to figure out if he knew what events the tapestries were depicting. Instead he found his eyes drifting back to the next room, which he couldn't make out much of with the others in the way despite the wide entryway.

Eventually he was next in line and stood right at the entrance to the inner court. It was much smaller, nothing more than a room with a high, domed ceiling. The walls were painted with murals of Lord Fiersome. It looked like gold and silver inlays were used to make his swirling flames glint in the light cast by the real centerpiece of the room. Near the back was an altar, it looked like a short version of the columns supporting the hallway outside. Just behind it was a great, stone urn, wide and shallow. A bonfire burned in it, flames burning white hot with flickering yellow tips, it gave off no smoke. The eternal holy flame planted in the temple by Lord Fiersome himself. Probably his own flame, which would make that fire a small piece of the god. Sans shivered at the thought, that was too weird to think about. He tried to focus on watching the ceremony instead.

Standing in front of the fire was a priest Sans assumed to be the head priest, his robes absolutely covered in embroidery that glinted and glimmered like the murals. They did nothing to make his own weak flames sputtering cold and red from his head look any less pathetic against the bonfire behind him.

The monster ahead of him held up their offering and made their request. Fieri took the offering and placed it on the altar, "May Lord Fiersome grant this monster's request." A spark came off the bonfire, arcing through the air to land just over the offering. It bloomed into a candle sized flame and stayed hovering there until Fieri reached for the item, then it snuffed itself. Fieri held the offering out to another priest who Sans hadn't noticed until they stepped forward to take it, then hurried out of the room. The other monster thanked Fieri, then left.

Finally, it was Sans's turn. He ambled up to the altar, carefully unwrapping his offering. It was one of the meat pastries he normally sold at his day job, brushed with butter and sprinkled with fresh herbs to give it that personal touch.

"What would you petition the great Lord Fiersome for today?" Fieri asked in a monotone.

"there's this guy named grillby who works at a-"

"Grillby who?"

"what?"

"Grillby who," Fieri repeated with a scowl. "Surely if you're here to ask a favor of Lord Fiersome less than a month before summer solstice you would know this man's name."

"i don't, that's part of the problem. he works at the golden lamb tavern once in a while and i haven't seen him in about a month. i'm just worried about him is all, and after what we uh… what we talked about the last time i saw him i just… want to see him again. learn his whole name." Sans was staring down at his pastry, trying to ignore the magic he could feel gathering on his face. "so the favor i want to ask is if lord fiersome should happen to come across grillby while he's protecting us and doing his godly duties that he just… send the guy back over to the golden lamb."

With a sigh Fieri gingerly picked up the pastry and carefully placed it on the altar. "May Lord Fiersome grant this monster's **humble** request."

A large flair shot out of the bonfire, arcing gracefully through the air before landing on the pastry and flaring brightly. Both Sans and Fieri had to put up their hands to protect their faces. The fire quickly faded and winked out on its own, leaving nothing on the altar but a faint smear of ash. Sans swore he heard a whispered, "What the hell?" but it was hard to be sure if it was a fire elemental speaking or just the bonfire crackling in the background.

Sans, Fieri, and the other priest all stood in shock, alternating stares between each other and the empty altar. Their stunned silence so thick and heavy the only sound in the room was the gentle crackling of the bonfire.

"It seems this supplicant is favored by Lord Fiersome," the other priest said, finally breaking the silence.

"Yes," Fieri agreed absently, then seemed to shake himself out of a daze. "Very likely you will see your Grillby fellow soon."

"that's… that's good. that's a relief." Sans still wasn't sure what to make of that, but if it was a good sign he'd take it.

"You may go now."

"okay, good. uh… goodbye then." Sans nodded awkwardly to Fieri and the other priest before turning to leave. There was a short line of monsters waiting to make their own requests, all staring in awed silence as Sans slinked past.

* * *

Sans quietly shut the front door behind him, valiantly resisting the urge to slump against it. There was a perfectly slumpable stuffed chair sitting only a few steps away, after all.

"SANS! HOW DID YOUR TRIP TO THE TEMPLE GO?" Papyrus came into the room, a potted plant in his gloved hands.

"fine, it went… fine." Sans managed to walk over to the chair before falling face first onto it. He heard Papyrus set the pot aside, followed by the soft sound of gloves being removed and approaching footsteps. A gentle hand caressed his skull.

"IT DOESN'T LOOK LIKE IT WENT ALL THAT WELL, ARE YOU OKAY?"

"i'm fine," Sans insisted, the affect perhaps ruined by his words being muffled by the chair. He felt himself get picked up, then turned around so Papyrus could plop him down in the chair properly. "it was just really crowded, no one gets out of the short guy's way."

Papyrus just nodded, between his height and his loud voice he could usually make his way through a crowd with little issue.

"anyway, picked up some interesting news from the temple about the whole solstice thing."

"OH! HOW WONDERFUL! THE POOR PRIESTS HAVE BEEN WORKING SO HARD TO ASSURE EVERYONE HOW UNVIOLENT IT'S GOING TO BE."

"yup, and they're right. they said the sacrifice," Sans managed to muster up the energy for some very sarcastic air quotes, "is an old tradition the gods stopped using a while ago. whoever lord fiersome picks is gonna be his bride."

"HE'S LOOKING FOR LOVE? THAT'S SO ROMANTIC!" Papyrus squealed in delight as a dreamy look came over his face, Sans had called it. "WAIT," the dreamy look vanished, "BUT WHAT ABOUT THE COURTSHIP? HE CHOOSES THE SACRIFICE JUST TWO WEEKS BEFORE THE SOLSTICE, THAT'S NOT EVEN REMOTELY ENOUGH TIME TO DO A PROPER COURTSHIP!"

Sans laughed gently, only Papyrus. "he's probably already got his bride all picked out and this is just a formality. or…" Sans paused to think over what Caldera had said right when he stopped listening, "it's just a ceremonial thing? i think it's going to just be a paper marriage."

"OH. THEN… WHAT'S THE POINT? WHAT DOES A GOD'S BRIDE ACTUALLY DO?"

Sans shrugged, "be a figure head? look pretty for the public?"

"AN EASIER JOB FOR SOME THAN OTHERS."

"oh wow, that's harsh, bro!" Sans laughed, a genuine smile lighting up his face.


	4. A Choice

Sans sat slumped down in their one stuffed chair, their pet rock nestled comfortably on his sternum. Sans idly pet them, the rock responded with a pleased rumble that sounded a lot like two rocks being rubbed together. He had lucked out, he supposed, having the day the sacrifice was chosen off from his day job. Papyrus was out running errands, as usual, but had said he'd be back before noon.

Sans glared at a patch of sunlight on the floor. "i dunno, balboa, he should be back by now."

Balboa shifted ever so slightly and emitted another subdued rumble.

"yeah, he probably got caught by the crowds, maybe even went to the temple to watch. he's so tall he might even see over enough heads to actually see something." Sans chortled and began petting the rock again, slowly and comfortably.

Sans had never seen the ceremony himself, but he knew of it and could imagine it just fine. It started in the inner court, where only the priests stood. A specially prepared arrow was lit from the Eternal Fire burning behind the altar, the same one that had burned up his offering just last week. Then the arrow was carried out to the outer court where no doubt half the city was packed in to watch the spectacle despite the fact everyone was supposed to stay home in case their household was chosen. It didn't really matter, Lord Fiersome only ever asked of the wealthy for summer solstice. There were probably a lot of flowery words spoken over the arrow, the same ones every year spouted from rote. Well, maybe not this year. Sans imagined high priest Fieri hastily memorizing lines only to flub them. He snickered.

Balboa rumbled in response.

Then the arrow was drawn back on a bow, Sans wasn't sure if there was any aim actually involved or if the archer just shot in a random direction, but after that being crowded in the temple's courtyard was pointless. The arrow would fly out of sight and land wherever Lord Fiersome guided it.

Sans paused his petting, "well now… how many people are even left?" The last couple weeks there had been far more people leaving the city than entering. When asked most had said they were going to visit family for solstice, like that was a thing people normally did. No matter, there would always be a crowd of curious people to watch any ceremony.

If Papyrus were stuck on the outer fringes of the crowd that spilled out onto the streets around the temple he might be lucky enough to watch the direction the arrow takes. Maybe even join in the few who tried to chase after it. Usually there were also clusters of curious monsters gathered around the wealthiest homes and businesses of the city, since that's where it was sure to land. Then again, this year might be different. The bride could be anyone. "guess that means all bets are off," Sans murmured to himself.

Balboa grumbled, upset that Sans's petting had slowed to nothing in his musings. Sans huffed a faint laugh and went back to petting the rock. "you're right, i'm sure papyrus is fine. he'll come home a little late with a rant about how he was rudely delayed and then tell us about his morning."

There was a thunk, like something hitting the door. Sans groaned, he did not want to get up. He waited to see if it would happen again, if it was someone knocking they'd surely keep knocking… nothing. Guess not, probably just some kids playing catch and they missed. Or something. Lucky they didn't hit a window. Sans went back to petting Balboa, "what do you think?"

Balboa rumbled and settled deeper.

"yeah, that's what i think too." Sans settled a little deeper himself, watching the patch of sunlight slowly crawl across the floor. "it's way past noon by now, papyrus has got to be home soon."

Balboa didn't even rumble this time.

Sans drifted off into a light doze when a sharp knock on the front door abruptly startled him awake. Balboa must not have liked that, they squeaked like chalk on slate. Sans sighed and heaved himself out of the chair, leaving Balboa behind to keep it warm as he stretched and ambled slowly towards the door. Another sharp knock.

"yeah, yeah, i'm coming. hold your snails." He opened the door to find head priest Fieri himself standing on his doorstep, a gaggle of priests in their most elaborate robes gathered behind him. A herd of priests? A gossip of priests? What do you call a group of priests?

"Oh, it's you," Fieri said in surprise.

"uh, yeah? can i… help you?" Sans couldn't help being confused, what were they doing here today of all days?

"This household has been chosen."

Sans blinked up at Fieri, the words he had just spoken didn't make sense. Sans couldn't help a surprised laugh. "what?"

Fieri looked up, Sans followed his gaze to find a flaming arrow stuck in the house just above the door frame. Huh, that must've been the sound Sans heard earlier.

"oh."

"I would ask if there are others in the household, but after that little display last week it's pretty clear who Lord Fiersome favors."

Sans pinched his nasal bridge and squeezed his eyes shut with a heavy sigh before snapping them open and looking up at Fieri. He put on his most charming smile. "look, this is flattering and all, but i'm sort of already in a relationship. remember that grillby guy i was talking about? i'm pretty sure we're a thing."

Fieri crossed his arms and raised a brow skeptically. "Oh really?"

"i mean, that's what i wanted to talk to him about. i just haven't had-"

"BROTHER!" Everyone's heads turned at the shout, Papyrus just coming around the corner with a hand raised in greeting. "YOU WILL NOT BELIEVE THE MORNING I JUST HAD!" The wide grin on his face fell to confusion as he took in the sight before him. "SANS, WHAT'S GOING ON?"

Sans turned back to Fieri, "so i'm lord fiersome's chosen, what an honor."

Fieri's attention snapped back to Sans, the skeptical look back on his face. "I thought you were just saying you already have an intended?"

"i was also just saying i haven't seen him in over a month and we never really talked about it so…" Sans shrugged.

Papyrus had approached by then, orbits clearly shifting between the pack of priests, the arrow above their door, the think layer of sweat that was gathering on Sans's brow, and head priest Fieri on their door step.

Fieri turned to Papyrus, "Which of you is the oldest? Are there any others who live here?"

"SANS IS THE OLDER ONE AND NO, NO ONE ELSE. IT'S ONLY EVER BEEN JUST THE TWO OF US." Papyrus's brow was furrowed in confusion.

Fieri turned back to Sans, "What is your full name?"

"sans skeleton."

"And as head of the chosen household are you volunteering yourself as Lord Fiersome's bride?"

Sans nodded, opening his mouth to assent.

"THERE MUST BE SOME MISTAKE!" Papyrus yelled as he stepped between Sans and Fieri.

"Do you doubt Lord Fiersome's choice?" Fieri pointed at the arrow, still merrily burning away above the door. Fortunately the house itself hadn't caught fire, the joys of a magic flame.

"WELL… NO… BUT!"

"i'm volunteering," Sans cut in. "do i need to pack anything?"

"SANS!"

"No, everything you need will be provided by the temple."

"right," Sans nodded once as he spoke. He stepped out of the house, closing the door behind him. "okay, so let's get this show on the road, i guess."

"BROTHER! WILL YOU STOP FOR JUST A MINUTE!"

"c'mon bro, it's just a ceremonial thing." Sans looked up at Fieri, "right?"

"From what we understand the bride is an oracle and a figurehead rolled into one."

"see papyrus, nothing so terrible about that."

Papyrus crossed his arms and looked away. "I DON'T LIKE IT."

"i'm sure they'll let you visit."

"Of course, friends and family of priests are always welcome."

"THEN I'M COMING WITH YOU."

"Very well. But to avoid confusion please stay near the back of the procession. We can discuss everything more thoroughly at the temple, after we complete the ceremony."

"oh joy, you get to parade me through the streets." Sans grumpily scuffed his slippered feet on the street before starting to walk behind Fieri, the pride of priests falling in behind him. It seemed part of the ceremony was walking slowly, which suited Sans's short legs just fine.

Papyrus had moved to the back of the flock of priests, where one was talking animatedly with him. "Head priest Fieri actually had to contact the other cities under Lord Fiersome's protection before we even found out about the divine bride ceremony," she said excitedly, the gem that was her head flashing brightly with every word. "Lord Fieri has never called for it before, not ever. Fortunately Fidelity had it in their records, it turns out Lord Doge, you know she was the patron god of the city before… before the war…" the priest trailed off, her head growing dimmer with each word.

"ARE WE GOING TO JUST LEAVE THE ARROW?" Papyrus asked as he pointed behind them, the house already hidden behind a corner.

"Oh, don't worry about that." The priest waved a hand dismissively. "It'll take care of itself when the sun sets."

"EVERY SUMMER SOLSTICE I ALWAYS WONDERED WHATEVER HAPPENED TO THE ARROW."

"It's a relief, can you imagine having to cart around a ladder and climb up it as part of every ceremony?"

While Papyrus chatted with the priests, Sans found the whole trip rather boring. He had to walk behind Fieri but ahead of the hord of priests, so he had no one to talk to. Instead he got to see every last citizen of the city line up along the road to stare at him go by. He ended up shoving his hands deep in his pockets and staring at the small flickers of flame coming off Fieri's head in an attempt to ignore being the center of so much attention. If he had skin he was sure it'd be crawling.

And then finally, finally! They had arrived at the temple. A path had luckily, or perhaps through a lot of hard work, been kept clear despite the crowd. They passed through the outer court and up the few steps to the temple proper. Fieri paused at the top and turned to face the crowd, Sans reluctantly did the same. He even managed not to flinch when Fieri placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Friends, countrymonsters, I'm proud to announce that Lord Fiersome has chosen Sans Skeleton as his bridegroom."

There were a few cheers from the crowd, along with a surprisingly enthusiastic applause. Sans was pretty sure most of them had no idea who he even was.

"The wedding shall take place a fortnight from today, on the day of the summer solstice. Please prepare any gifts or offerings you may wish to make before then." Fieri turned and headed into the temple, Sans followed behind.

Once inside Sans thought they would head for the inner court, but instead Fieri led them to the side of the hall where a doorway Sans had never noticed before was hidden. They walked into an area that had a homier feel already. This new hallway was narrower, the walls hung with swaths of rich fabrics on one side and windows letting in natural light on the other. No tapestries or murals in sight. The hallway was short, they were soon in another section of the temple Sans had never seen before, a crossroads of a sort. Straight ahead was one hallway lined with doors and torches, a light streaming through a window at the far end; then another hallway leading off to the right, lit by torches attached to the wall.

Fieri paused to consider which direction to take, the pod of priests took that as an invitation to crowd around Sans.

"What'd you do to catch Lord Fiersome's attention?"

"Oh man, Ma'll never believe ol' Sans is the bride!"

"I thought for sure he'd pick someone aligned with fire."

"Enough, all of you!" Fieri waved off the priests, "The bridegroom and I have much to discuss."

"AND HIS BROTHER AS WELL." Papyrus politely moved people aside so he could step forward.

"Yes, of course. I think somewhere a bit more private would be better, follow me please." Fieri led the way, Sans and Papyrus following at his heels.

* * *

And surprising no one, Lord Fiersome chose Sans. XD Everyone loves the cute little trash goblin 3

So it's not going to come up much, but I'm working on a "the four classical elements" system, where each monster is aligned with one of the elements more prominently than the other three or sometimes just entirely. Clearly someone like Grillby would be just fire, Undyne would be strongly tied to water, Gerson is mostly earth, and I usually put the ghosts as my example of air.

It's funny, while I was writing Home I was all about ghosts and possessing things, I was super curious about it and wanted to explore all the different things a ghost could possess, especially being up on the surface and the possibility of having the perfect body made to order. Now I'm super focused on elementals and the different forms they take, especially earth elementals. I imagine they come in huge variety, there's just so much different stuff that comes out of the earth: giant stones, loose dirt, metal, crystals... I think it's neat how different they'd be from any of the other elementals because earth ones would need to be solid while the rest would all be very fluid. It's fun to think about.


	5. An Explanation

Fieri led the skeleton brothers into what appeared to be a library, the walls lined with bookshelves, more lined up in rows taking up half the room, the other half a spacious area with small, angled desks and empty seats nestled next to them, and behind those a large desk with papers, ink wells, and paperweights scattered over it standing guard over a closed door. Fieri walked over to the nearest desk and pulled the seat, a simple stool really, out into the open area. Then another, and another. He sat in one and motioned to the brothers. "Come sit, we have much to discuss."

Sans was glad to see the stools came in different heights, he climbed onto the shorter one while Papyrus perched on the taller.

"To begin with," Fieri began, "the bride of the gods is an old tradition that seems to have fallen out of favor with the gods, even before the war. It was a sign of favor for the mortal chosen, their family blessed by the god they were married to. They acted as the mouthpiece of the god, able to speak directly with them rather than through visions and divination."

"SO WHY DID THEY STOP IF IT WAS SO USEFUL?"

Fieri shook his head, "We don't know. It may have to do with the fact the gods make less decrees than they used to, or it may have had to do with the rising tensions between monsters and humans that led to the war, or it may have just become unfashionable among the gods themselves." Fieri shrugged. "All we know is they became less common over the years until the practice stopped altogether."

"something for me to ask him after the uh… the wedding i guess." Sans fidgeted in his seat. "it feels so weird calling it that when it's not real."

"What do you mean?"

"you said it's just a ceremony, right? it's not a **real** wedding."

"What wedding isn't just a ceremony?" Fieri paused as he looked between the brothers in confusion, their faces a matching mix of surprise and horror. "The wedding is just as binding and 'real' as any other wedding presided over by any priest."

"so this is for the rest of my life?"

"That we don't know yet."

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN?"

"It's strange, you would think a title like that would be a lifetime of service, but it actually varied from case to case. We've only found five detailed bridegrooms so far, one stayed the rest of her life, the other four lasted between a year and seven years."

"so what you're saying is there used to be this thing that happened and was really common but we just have no idea anything about it?"

"The old records are full of instances of the marriages, but no other details. 'On this date so and so was married to our patron god.' We also know that aside from acting as Lord Fiersome's mouthpiece you will also be a figurehead. You will help preside over all the major festivals and to receive any notable sacrifices. Anything else we have found out has only been by scouring through personal journals. I'm afraid you will have to ask Lord Fiersome yourself after the ceremony."

Papyrus gingerly reached out and settle a gloved hand on Sans's shoulder. "ARE YOU SURE YOU WANT TO DO THIS? WHAT ABOUT…" Papyrus scooted a little closer and leaned in to whisper, "WHAT ABOUT GRILLBY?"

"what about him?"

"SANS!"

"it's been over a month and i haven't heard a thing from him, papyrus. if he was really serious you'd think he'd have found some way to contact me by now."

Papyrus sighed, "YOU WERE SO HAPPY."

"was i happy yesterday? or the day before? or last week?"

Papyrus averted his orbits, thumbs suddenly twiddling furiously.

"besides, this might not be forever anyway. if this whole bridegroom thing only lasts a year or two maybe he'll wait for me." Sans grinned up at Papyrus.

Papyrus gently patted his shoulder. "I WILL TRY TO FIND HIM AND LET HIM KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON, AND ALSO FIND OUT WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO HIM."

"thanks bro, that's really sweet of you." Sans turned to Fieri, "so what now?"

"We have two weeks to prepare for the ceremony." Fieri smiled, a glowing orange crack in his dim red flames. "That means going over what to do and say, some ceremonial cleansing," Fieri eyed Sans like the stains on his shirt were personally offensive, "and getting you settled in here at the temple. In fact, I can show you to your room now if you like."

"sure, sounds like a plan." Sans hopped off his stool.

"And will you be spending the night?"

"OF COURSE!"

"why? we got a house, and somebody needs to take care of balboa, i left them on the living room chair."

Papyrus groaned, "SAAAAAAAANS!"

"It's no trouble, we have plenty of guest rooms."

"THANK YOU, I APPRECIATE IT."

Sans shrugged, Papyrus was an adult and could do whatever he wanted.

"Right this way, then." Fieri led them out of the room, where they nearly bumped into another priest hovering in the doorway.

"Oh, are you finished with the archive room? I'm supposed to be recording today's events…"

Sans squinted at the priest, "… licorice?"

"I'm Basil, actually."

"HELLO BASIL!" Papyrus eagerly took his hand and began shaking it vigorously. "IT'S BEEN SO LONG! HOW ARE YOU? HOW'S THE FAMILY?"

"I'm good, we're all good. Actually Licorice did tell me Sans was here a week ago to get all the gossip."

"wasn't the only reason," Sans grumbled, the barest hint of color blooming on his cheekbones.

"But goodness," Basil continued, "who would have guessed Sans would be Lord Fiersome's chosen!"

"YES, THIS CERTAINLY IS A SURPRISE."

"If we're done here," Fieri said with a voice that sounded very much like he was speaking through gritted teeth despite not having any, "I do believe you have a record to make."

"Yes, of course." Basil nodded at them before slipping into the archive room.

"Your room is right this way." Fieri motioned down the hall before leading on. The bedroom he led them to was very nice, everything carved from dark wood and covered in rich fabrics. Not that there was much to the room: two large windows on either wall in the far corner, a plush looking bed piled high with blankets and pillows, a chest at the foot of it, a dresser, a small bookshelf full of old tomes, a plush looking chair nestled between that and a roaring fireplace. Every surface but the bed was completely empty, not a knickknack or decoration in sight.

Sans wandered around the room, idly touching things here and there. Papyrus stood in the doorway, hands on his hips as he looked around.

"We passed several guest rooms on the way here, you can have your pick. I can show you the bathing chamber as well."

"THAT WON'T BE NECESSARY. WELL, THE BATHING CHAMBER MIGHT BE, I DON'T KNOW WHEN SANS LAST VISITED THE PUBLIC BATHS." Papyrus eyed Sans, who just grinned up at him. "BUT I'VE CHANGED MY MIND ON STAYING THE NIGHT, SANS IS RIGHT."

"i knew it would happen one of these days."

"THERE'S NO NEED WHEN WE LIVE SO CLOSE. SO NOW THAT I SEE YOU'RE IN GOOD HANDS I'LL GO HOME. AND TAKE CARE OF THE HOUSE. LIKE BALBOA! POOR LITTLE THING SHOULDN'T BE LEFT ON THE CHAIR ALL ALONE."

"yeah, they get lonely easily."

"THEY ALSO AREN'T FOND OF ANYTHING SOFTER THAN FRESHLY TURNED DIRT."

"Oh?" Fieri seemed mildly confused, or perhaps just uninterested. "Whatever you believe would be best."

"I DO BELIEVE IT'S FOR THE BEST. I'LL COME VISIT AGAIN, IS TOMORROW ALRIGHT?"

"Yes, tomorrow's fine."

"I'LL SEE YOU TOMORROW, BROTHER." Papyrus leaned down to give Sans a hug.

Sans returned the hug, quietly savoring it before letting go and waving Papyrus off with a forced grin. "see ya, bro."

* * *

Papyrus did return the next morning, his arms full of bags stuffed with all manner of things. He stepped into the room to find Sans's bed rumpled but empty. A quick search of the room found Sans wedged between the fireplace and the chair, fast asleep, his head awkwardly propped against the stone, changed into a silk nightshirt and presumably nothing more. Papyrus carefully laid his armload on the floor and shook his head at his brother.

"HONESTLY SANS, YOU'D THINK THE HUGE BED YOU WERE GIVEN WOULD BE A GOOD ENOUGH PLACE TO SLEEP IN."

"huh? wuzzat?" Sans asked groggily as Papyrus picked him up.

"IT'S TIME TO WAKE UP! THE SUN HAS BEEN UP FOR QUITE SOME TIME ALREADY, AN ENTIRE HALF HOUR AT LEAST!"

"oh… heeeeeeeeeeey." Sans yawned and blinked blearily up at Papyrus. "you're here."

"OF COURSE I AM. AND I BROUGHT YOU THINGS!"

"things?"

"YES! THIS ROOM IS UNACCEPTABLE. IT HAS NO PERSONALITY, NO WARMTH."

"there's a fire right there."

"SO I PACKED UP YOUR ROOM AND BROUGHT YOUR FAVORITE THINGS."

"awwww… that's sweet of you."

"AND YOU'RE GOING TO HELP ME UNPACK THEM!"

"sure bro, sounds good."

Papyrus placed Sans on his feet, then started digging through the bags he had brought. He pulled out a plate and presented it to Sans. "FIRST IS THE MOST IMPORTANT, FIND A PLACE OF HONOR."

Sans idly scratched his tailbone with one hand and reached for the plate with the other, another yawn stretching his face wide. "place of honor, sure." He looked the room over before shrugging and setting the plate on top of the dresser. Then Papyrus handed over a rock. "hey, it's balboa, hey there little guy." Sans took the rock and held them close to his chest, Balboa gave a happy little grumble. "you sure about this? won't you be lonely without them?"

"I'LL BE FINE! BESIDES, THEY'RE MORE YOUR PET THAN MINE."

"yeah, guess they are, aren't ya balboa? who's a good little rock?" Sans pet Balboa a few times, who responded with a rumble and a few soft squeaks. Sans set them gently on the plate.

"AND YOUR COOL ROCK COLLECTION." Papyrus handed over a pile of pebbles, which Sans had to scramble not to drop any.

"oh, these'll look cool with the books." Sans did actually have fun setting the colorful pebbles on the bookshelf, a few of the bigger ones ended up getting spread to the rest of the room, like the sparkly one that ended up tucked into the hearth's corner. Other mementos got placed in various places as well. A couple tattered toys that survived their childhood only because neither could bear to throw them away ended up guarding Balboa on the dresser, the few books Sans owned were slotted into empty spaces on the bookshelf, and even the horn he sometimes played was pulled out and handed over. Just for fun Sans blew a note on it before setting it aside, leaning it up against the dresser.

Papyrus nodded as he looked around the room, "MUCH BETTER."

"yeah, thanks bro." Sans pulled Papyrus into a hug.

Once he let go, Papyrus stood back and eyed the rest of the room with a critical eye. "HMMM… BETTER, BUT STILL NOT GREAT YET. THESE WALLS ARE SO DRAB." Papyrus touched one of the stone walls. "THERE WON'T BE ANY EASY WAY TO DECORATE THEM. OH! DO YOU THINK THEY'D LET ME PAINT A MURAL?"

Sans shrugged, "maybe? only way to find out is to ask. but you know you don't gotta do that, just this was a huge difference."

"I KNOW, BUT THINK HOW MUCH MORE OF A DIFFERENCE THE GREAT PAPYRUS'S ARTISTIC TOUCH WILL MAKE."

"you're right bro, how could i ever doubt." Sans gave Papyrus a thumbs up.

There was a knock on the door, followed by a priest opening it and poking her long snout in. "Oh! I didn't know you had a guest. I was just sent to, like, make sure you knew breakfast was served."

"great, i'm starved."

"WHAT? YOU HAVEN'T EATEN YET?!"

"i was still asleep when you got here, bro."

"OH, THAT'S TRUE."

"so let's go get some grub."

"SANS! YOU ARE NOT GOING TO GO WANDERING AROUND IN JUST YOUR NIGHTSHIRT." Papyrus rolled his eyes as he firmly guided Sans over to the dresser. "YOU MAY LIVE HERE FOR NOW, BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN TREAT IT LIKE OUR HOUSE."

"i wasn't going to wander around bare boned," Sans said defensively.

The priest slipped into the room and shut the door behind her. "I can totally help you get dressed."

"that's uh… that's not really necessary?"

"Oh it's no problem! Like, a lot of people have trouble figuring out the robes at first." The priest bounced excitedly over to the dresser, chatting excitedly as she explained what each layer was for and how to wear it properly.


	6. A Montage

"I know the priests keep saying the bride won't die, but I hear a mortal sacrifice isn't really a sacrifice until they die."

"REALLY, THIS IS ALL NONSENSE!" Papyrus insisted. He was sitting near one of the bonfires on top of the city wall, taking his break with some of the other nightwatchmen.

"I'm just telling you what I heard."

"And why is it everyone only ever wants to share the bad things they hear?"

"THANK YOU, DAVIS! THAT IS AN EXCELLENT POINT."

"Look, it just makes sense. A sacrifice isn't a sacrifice unless there's some kind of destruction involved, a thing has to get handed over to the gods."

"FIRST OF ALL, MY BROTHER IS NOT JUST A THING. SECOND OF ALL, IN MY EXPERIENCE THE OFFERINGS ARE ONLY SYMBOLICALLY BURNED AND INSTEAD ARE HANDED OVER TO THE PRIESTS."

"Okay, but who would hand over their bride to-"

"BRIDEGROOM."

"Yeah, stop being so insensitive."

"No one would hand over their newly wed spouse to someone else, that's just silly. So probably your brother's gonna get laid out over the altar and the priest will take a knife and…" The watchman mimed pulling a finger across his throat while making a tearing sound and sticking his tongue out.

"WE DON'T EVEN HAVE THROATS, OR ANY KIND OF FLESH TO CUT WITH A KNIFE."

"Set him on fire then. I'm sure a godly fire can get hot enough to even melt stone."

"The gods aren't like that," Davis insisted with a frown. "Lord Fiersome's not like that."

"RIGHT, AND YOU'RE NOT BEING HELPFUL AT ALL."

"I just want you to be prepared when your brother gets dusted."

Papyrus stood up. "I THINK MY BREAK IS OVER." He stalked quickly away, it had only been a few days and this was the fourth… no fifth! Person to tell Papyrus they were sorry but they just **had** to share this or that horrible rumor with him, for his own sake. Papyrus just needed to clear his head, maybe take some deep breaths. Even if these people weren't actually being helpful they were at least trying, right?

"Papyrus, just the monster I wanted to talk to."

"OH, GOOD EVENING, CATRINA." Papyrus nodded in greeting to the head nightwatchman.

"Do you have a moment? There's something I've been meaning to tell you."

Papyrus took a deep breath and put on his best smile, "I THINK I HAVE A LITTLE BIT OF MY BREAK LEFT."

"I just wanted to let you know that you don't have to worry about Sans's job."

"THAT'S A RELIEF, EVEN IF I WASN'T WORRIED ABOUT SANS'S JOB TO BEGIN WITH. SHOULD I HAVE BEEN?"

Catrina shook her head, "I suppose not. I just meant that even if I already replaced him, if he ever needs a job again he'll have one waiting for him. You did say the priests don't know how long this whole weird marriage thing will last, right?"

"RIGHT, WE WON'T KNOW UNTIL SANS TALKS TO LORD FIERSOME, AND EVERYONE KNOWS THE MARRIAGE COUPLE AREN'T SUPPOSED TO SEE EACH OTHER BEFORE THE WEDDING. THOUGH I THOUGHT THAT WAS ONLY THE DAY OF THE WEDDING."

Catrina laughed, "Well whatever happens, you and Sans don't have to worry about making ends meet."

Papyrus, strangely enough, did feel better after being told that.

* * *

"… and this is the bridegroom," Fieri said as he gestured to Sans.

Sans put down the book he had been reading and hopped down from the stool at the archive desk he'd been sitting at. The quiet sounds of quill on paper stopped abruptly, the archive room going quiet as everyone's attention shifted to Fieri and the other person he had just brought into the room, a monster covered in dark fur with a few streaks of gray sprinkled about, who only stood an inch or two taller than Sans. He had quite a bit of gray fur about his muzzle, all of it neatly trimmed, just like the abundance of fur over his eyes.

"Sans, this is Terry Houndini, the head priest of Lord Fiersome's temple in Fidelity."

"nice to meetcha." Sans held a hand out.

Terry accepted the hand for a firm shake, then engulfed it with his other paw to pat Sans's hand indulgently. "It's a pleasure to meet you."

"thanks."

"If you don't mind my asking, why are you wearing gloves?" He held up the hand still firmly in his grip, showing off the thin leather gloves covering them.

"bones don't got a lot of grip to them, so gloves just make life in general easier."

Terry nodded before finally letting go of his hand. "If you have a moment, I'd very much like to get to know the first recorded mortal bridegroom in over fifty years."

"i heard you're the one who figured out that's what was even going on?"

"That I am, and I brought along all the texts we could find as well."

"Why not take this out into the garden and let the scribes get back to work?" Fieri motioned for the three of them to leave. "Bonnie might be out there as well."

"Ah, I haven't seen her in an age! How's the old gal doing?"

Sans followed behind because it was expected of him, he also had a feeling the stack of books he had been working through would mysteriously end up in his room. At least he'd be able to find them again. And if Bonnie, the head priest of the temple in Ashborough, was in the garden too even time spent with Fieri wouldn't be so bad. She was friendly, if the situation got too awkward she'd help defuse it. Probably.

* * *

"HELLO, BROTHER!"

"hey papyrus, how you been?" Sans pulled Papyrus into a hug.

"I'VE BEEN QUITE WELL, JUST LIKE I WAS YESTERDAY AND THE DAY BEFORE!"

"heh, of course you are." Sans grinned up at his brother.

"BUT SOMETHING IS AMISS, THAT HUG FELT STRANGE."

"oh yeah," Sans dug into his robes and pulled out his pet rock, "for fun i've been lugging balboa around all day."

"HELLO, BALBOA, YOU'RE LOOKING QUITE WELL. I'M GLAD SANS IS REMEMBERING TO TAKE CARE OF YOU." Papyrus happily pet Balboa, who responded with a happy little rumble.

Sans noticed one of the passing priests give them a strange look, but Sans shook it off. He wasn't going to let anything ruin Papyrus's daily visit.

Papyrus leaned in close and put up a hand to his own face as if about to impart a dark and terrible secret. He whispered, "DO YOU HAVE SOMEWHERE MORE PRIVATE FOR US? I'VE BROUGHT YOU SOME CONTRABAND."

"bro, that's so scandalous!" They both giggled. "but yeah, let's go to my room." Sans led the way, absently petting Balboa as they went. The room was more cluttered than Papyrus's first visit, the wall now had swaths of cloth in pale saffron and brilliant canary, the bookshelves and furniture surfaces were now crowded with all manner of small knickknacks, every corner now sported decorative statuary, and either side of the fireplace had tall vases with exotic feathers and dried plant stalks poking haphazardly out of them.

"I SEE YOU'VE RECEIVED MORE GIFTS."

"yeah, people just keep giving me stuff. i have to spend a good chunk of the day just sitting in the main temple and letting people give me things. not to mention whenever someone **important** wants to give me something more expensive. they just get to waltz in whenever they feel like and demand a private audience with the 'bride to be' so they can hand over some gaudy piece of jewelry or whatever."

Papyrus had noticed a small set of drawers were now sitting on top of the dresser, a large jewelry box he supposed. "THAT DOES SOUND RATHER ANNOYING, THE POLITE THING TO DO WOULD BE TO AT LEAST MAKE AN APPOINTMENT. EITHER WAY, FOR THE NEXT LITTLE WHILE PUT ALL THAT OUT OF YOUR HEAD. INSTEAD LET US ENJOY…" Papyrus paused dramatically as he slowly brought out a handkerchief wrapped around something, "THESE TREATS I BROUGHT FOR YOU!" He dramatically pulled off the handkerchief to reveal two of the meat pastries Sans used to sell.

"awwww… that's so sweet! thanks, bro." Sans took one of the offered pastries and broke off a piece of crust, he crushed it over Balboa's plate before depositing the rock on it. Balboa rumbled their approval. Sans then broke off two more small pieces to toss into the fire.

"OH, HAVE YOU MOVED ONE OF THE HOLY FLAMES TO YOUR FIREPLACE?"

"nah, they just showed up here all on their own. two of them, actually. wait…" Sans paused to count the number of coal black eyes staring up at him. "oh, guess it's three now." He broke off another little piece and tossed it into the fire before finally biting in the pastry himself. He hummed happily, letting the food slowly dissolve into magic as he savored the taste.

Papyrus took a bite of his own pastry. "I THOUGHT YOU MIGHT LIKE TO KNOW THAT I WAS OFFERED YOUR SHIFT WATCHING THE CITY GATE, AND OF COURSE I ACCEPTED."

Sans plopped into the overstuffed chair to keep eating while Papyrus sat carefully on the bed. "that's great, one step closer to finally getting into the city guard."

"RIGHT! I HAVE DEFINITELY BEEN NOTICED BY THE GUARDSMEN WHO COME TO CLOSE THE GATE EVERY NIGHT. WE EVEN TALK! I MIGHT EVEN BE, DARE I SAY IT, MAKING… FRIENDS?"

"that really is great, i knew the guards would like you once they saw your work ethic."

"IT'S SO STRANGE THOUGH, EVERYONE GOING IN AND OUT SEEMED TO EXPECT ME TO SELL PASTRIES? AND EVEN THE BAKERY THAT MAKES THEM EXPECTED ME TO BUY A WHOLE BUNCH?"

"heh, that is weird."

"VERY WEIRD. I MAKE SURE TO DIRECT EVERYONE TO THE NEAREST RESTAURANTS AND FOOD STALL. MOST TRAVELERS SEEM QUITE GRATEFUL, EVEN IF MOST OF IT'S ALL SWIMMING IN BUTTER OR GREASE."

"after a long day of traveling a hot meal of any kind is welcome, i'm sure they really appreciate it."

"BUT ENOUGH ABOUT ME, TELL ME ALL THE LATEST GOSSIP! NYEH HEH HEH!"

"oooooh! is my bro finally becoming the gossip monger he always dreamed of?"

"I ONLY MONGER THE MOST TRUE AND HELPFUL GOSSIP, BUT THERE ARE MANY A MONSTER WHO KNOW TO COME TO ME FOR THE LATEST AND GREATEST OF NEWS."

"that's really great, i'm so happy for you." And Sans was, he never wanted anything more than for Papyrus to be happy.

There was a knock at the door, followed by a rabbit peeking in, the shadows on her white fur making it appear purple. "Hello, I heard your brother is here for a visit?"

Sans and Papyrus both looked up at the intruder guiltily, Papyrus still mid bite.

"Oh! There he is, hello hun." She walked into the room with a friendly smile, gently closing the door behind her. "Don't mind me, I promise not to tell on you," she added with a wink.

Papyrus jumped up while also shoving the last of the pastry in his mouth. He hastily clapped off any lingering crumbs and held out a hand. "HELLO! I'M THE GREAT PAPYRUS, BROTHER OF BRIDEGROOM-TO-BE."

"Bonnie, head priest of Lord Fiersome's temple in Ashborough."

"WOWIE! IT'S NICE TO MEET YOU!" Papyrus began to shake her hand enthusiastically.

"Likewise."

* * *

Sans was sitting on his bedroom floor, angled to catch the light being cast from the hearth, hastily scratching out notes from the new book sitting open in his lap. He turned the page, finger keeping his place as he scanned over the lines. There was a knock at his door, followed by the sound of the latch. Sans sighed and looked up, unsurprised to see Fieri peeking into his room.

"Oh, I expected you to already be asleep, it's quite late."

Sans glanced out his window to the dark, glittering sky, then gave a shrug. "i was a nightwatchman, this is usually when my day would start. what're you doing up if it's so late?"

Fieri frowned, then wiped the expression away as he stepped into the room. "I was studying some of the texts Houndini brought with him, based on the new information in them I think some changes to the ceremony may be in order."

"you can just say you changed your mind, you know. nothing wrong with that."

"I didn't change my mind, I'm simply incorporating information that wasn't available to me earlier."

Sans leaned his cheek on a hand and resisted the urge to sigh deeply, "yeah, so what're we changing this time?"

"We are nixing the stand in groom."

Sans's permanent smile gentled at the edges, softening just a little. "can't exactly do a regular wedding without two people there, though."

"I should think nothing about this wedding will be regular, but since this is actually the summer solstice ceremony I've decided to simply adjust that rather than throw together a half baked wedding that would be difficult to perform even if both grooms could be in attendance."

Sans nodded. "sounds good, i'm all on board for that." He gave a thumbs up just to reinforce his approval.

Fieri nodded. "We'll be going over the changes to the ceremony in the morning, bright and early. So you should get to bed soon."

"gotcha, just wanted to finish up with this first, shouldn't take long."

Fieri stepped closer, standing right next to Sans and bending forward awkwardly to read over his shoulder.

"do you mind?"

"I'm simply curious what you're reading."

"you could have saved yourself a backache and just asked."

"It's the text I was just studying."

"yeah, terry brought a couple copies, make life easier for everyone. got any more questions?"

"You seem to have organized some sort of checklist?"

"sure, it's easier to see trends when you just have a couple columns with checks or blanks than when it's spread out over several different books." Sans looked up at Fieri, who stared back down at Sans with a crease to his brow. The crackle of the fire was the only sound in the room.

"Well, we'll go over the revised ceremony in the morning. I'll see you then, good night."

"yup, see ya in the morning." Sans waved Fieri off before returning his attention to the book, his hand scribbling away again.

* * *

AN: Okay, so this story feels a bit rushed to me. I think it's mostly because all the stuff I'm really looking forward to are in the sequel, but a part of it is definitely the fact that I wanted to make this a satisfying stand alone and had to restrain myself from adding in all the little hints and foreshadowing for the things to come in part 2. There is still quite a lot, they were intended to be one full story after all. But like I said: at the end of the next chapter everything will be wrapped up nice and neatly, if you don't want to keep going then those hints won't be anything more than a little world building. There is a definite shift between the end of this part and the beginning of the next (for all it's going to start the next day XD) and my muse was adamant it be separated into two parts. It's looking like part 2 is going to be twice as long though. XD So anyway, see you guys next chapter! I'm looking forward to bringing this story to its close.


	7. A Wedding

Sans huffed and winced as the belt was pulled yet tighter, with a muffled pop the thin layer of magic that usually kept clothes out of the gap between his hips and ribs gave out. Catty let out a cry of triumph. She quickly started winding the belt snugly around Sans's spine before carefully tying it off.

"was that really necessary?"

"Of course!"

"Like totally," Bratty agreed with a giggle. She helped hold Sans still and kept the robe in place as Catty tugged the belt for that final adjustment.

"okay. but why?"

"Because you're, like. one of the few monsters who can."

"but it's really uncomfortable."

"Maybe we should loosen it just a tad?" Bratty asked.

Catty shook her head, "It'll be uncomfortable no matter what unless we let him be normal. And it'll, like, totally ruin the look if it's loose! It's just for the day anyway."

Sans sighed, "yeah, guess i'll just have to suck it up." She was right, it would be uncomfortable but no more than any ill fitting clothes.

"You'll like this part, you get to sit down now."

"oh boy," Sans said unenthusiastically as he moved to sit on a stool while Catty and Bratty pulled out paints and brushes. Wait… Sans squinted as the pair zeroed in on his face. What does he even need make up for? Well, it was something to keep them busy and his mind occupied until it was time to start the ceremony anyway. Sans sighed and closed his eyes as the feather light touches started.

The door burst open, Papyrus crashed in. "SORRY I'M LATE! EVERYTHING IS SO CROWDED I WAS AFRAID I WOULDN'T MAKE IT AT ALL."

"hey bro, nice entrance." Sans smiled up at Papyrus, his eyes softening with relief.

Bratty made an unhappy noise. She pulled out a clean handkerchief and licked it before rubbing it over Sans's face, gross.

"That entrance was totally wicked awesome!" Catty said gleefully before refilling the brush with paint and turning back to Sans's face.

"THANK YOU BOTH! IT WILL BE MY ONLY GRAND ENTRANCE TODAY, I DON'T WANT TO OUTDO YOU AT YOUR OWN WEDDING!"

"and i appreciate the huge sacrifice that is for you."

Papyrus beamed.

"You're, like, just in time," Catty said cheerfully. "We're just about done, now if you could just hold still…"

Sans sighed, he'd been holding still in various poses for them all morning. He was worn-out from all the holding still he'd had to do. Catty and Bratty made a few more swipes with the brushes, then they both got up and switched places. Papyrus moved closer to watch them with interest.

"Close your eyes again, please," Bratty asked. Sans did so, waiting patiently as the feather light touches continued. Then the girls sat back, causing Sans to open his eyes warily, and looked over their work before nodding to themselves. They both put away the brushes, then Bratty picked up a polished mirror for Sans to inspect himself. Sans thought he looked better before they started, but it still wasn't bad.

Papyrus came to stand next to Sans. "YOU LOOK VERY WELL, BROTHER."

"you look pretty good yourself," Sans replied, gesturing to Papyrus's outfit. He had actually changed out of his armor, something he hadn't done since Sans had it commissioned, in honor of the occasion. He was wearing all his best clothes, an explosion of colors that were fully enhanced by the plethora of bright yellow, white, and a few orange flowers he had tied or pinned to any piece of clothing the flowers would stay tied or pinned to. Very likely they were all flowers Papyrus had grown himself, Sans thought some of them looked vaguely familiar.

All in all, Sans thought his bro looked pretty damn good.

There was a knock at the open door, everyone looked over to see Fieri standing in the doorway. "It's about time to start, is everyone ready?" His face fell into a frown when he spotted Papyrus. "What are you doing here?"

"TO SEE MY BROTHER ONE LAST TIME BEFORE THE CEREMONY, OF COURSE! GOOD, LUCK, SANS. I'LL SEE YOU OUT THERE."

"thanks, bro." Sans gave Papyrus one last hug before he left. Catty and Bratty tsk'd and quickly straightened out his robes, adjusting everything to be just so. Sans tried to hold back a sigh.

"Well then, let's all get into place."

"yeah, yeah, got a lot to do today." Sans took his place beside Fieri, not looking forward to everything they had to go through to get to the end of the day. It was going to be a long one.

They walked out to the outer court, where a crowd had gathered. Sans and Fieri stood at the entrance, elevated above the crowd by only a few steps. Sans smiled and waved, a cheer erupted from the crowd in response. They turned and a procession of priests (hey, he finally figured out what a group of priests should be called) was already lining up ahead of them. There was the soft lilt of some instrument being played, the ringing of bells, and then they started walking.

Slow measured steps in time with the music being played, they walked the distance up the hall from the outer court to the inner. The first few priests in the procession stepped aside just outside the inner court, standing to either side of the wide entrance. The rest of the procession filed in quietly, priests peeling off to stand to either side as they continued in. Once Sans and Fieri reached the altar the music stopped.

Fieri stepped to the side, Sans stood before Lord Fiersome's altar. There was no one to join hands with, no one to exchange vows to, no one to break their first bread with. No mortal, anyway. Sans couldn't do any of these things with the bonfire burning merrily away just past the altar.

Instead Sans had the joy of staring at Fieri as he spoke a blessing over the union. Papyrus, the visiting head priests from the other cities, the mayor, and quite a few of the city's wealthiest noblemonsters were lined up against the wall to bear witness. Sans was just glad he didn't have to clasp hands with Fieri or a stand in for Lord Fiersome. Somehow it felt less real without all that, like this would maybe last a year and then he could go back to his life.

Fieri spoke his final blessing. A ball of fire flew out of the bonfire and settled floating just over Sans's head. He tilted his head up, trying to see what had just happened, but the flame moved with his head.

"Face forward!" Fieri hissed.

Sans did as he was told.

"Friends and colleagues, here stands Lord Fiersome's new husband." There was light applause from the gathered witnesses, and enthusiastic applause from the brother of the bridegroom. "And now to present the newlywed to the populace."

"lead the way." Sans managed to resist the urge to shove his hands into pockets he didn't currently have, a placid grin plastered firmly on his face. A parade through the streets on foot, as if sitting still hadn't been exhausting enough already. Why couldn't they just harness up a couple nightmares and take an open carriage through the streets instead? At least he had the feast to look forward to after this. The coming evening not so much, but the usual summer solstice party should be good stuff at least.

* * *

The sun was hanging low in the sky, dimming to a heavy red the closer it got to the horizon. This was about the time the city guard would show up to shut the city gates and Sans would be wrapping up his stall for the night or sharing a quick meal with Papyrus before heading to their night watch jobs. Instead he was standing by Lord Fiersome's altar once more as Fieri droned on and on about duty and all that. He couldn't help zoning out, he'd heard the speech three times already during the practice runs.

Once the room emptied out Sans sagged with relief. Now he just had to spend the rest of the night standing watch over the altar like his new "lawfully wedded husband" stands watch over the citizens of this city as they sleep. Yeah, that sounded like _so_ much fun. He rolled his head, his neck gave a satisfying crack as some of the tension was released.

If he was going to do this he was at least going to be comfortable! Sans found the knot that his belt was tied in and began trying to untie it. It took quite a lot of time, it was fully dark before he was even halfway there, but eventually he got the knot undone and the belt loosened. Sans breathed a sigh of relief, his posture going limp now that the intrusion was finally gone. It had been distracting him all day!

Now Sans was left wondering what to do with the belt. Should he just leave it off or tie it back around his newly reformed magic? If Fieri showed up tomorrow morning and found him half dressed how much of an aneurysm would he have? Did Sans want to deal with that? Should he risk leaving it until morning and possibly getting caught?

A sudden change in the light drew Sans out of his thoughts. He looked up and around, turning in place. There were suddenly flames burning on the walls, Sans was fairly certain there hadn't been torches there before, or anything hanging off them either. More light and a soft sound from the entrance had Sans finally turn fully around.

"grillby?"

There said fire elemental was, burning a cheerful, soft orange as he stood just inside the entrance to the hallway and looking just as Sans had last seen him. Spectacles reflecting the light of the bonfire hid his expression, shirtsleeves rolled up past his elbows, grease stained apron tied around his waist, and heavy leather boots. A brilliant smile split his face open and he started walking closer.

"grillby, you can't be here, you'll get in trouble. you'll get us both in trouble." Sans took a small step back, then another.

Grillby didn't respond, simply kept slowly, quietly walking towards Sans.

"you sure have some timing though," Sans barked a short, unhappy laugh. "you were supposed to object before the wedding."

Grillby shook his head, the smile on his face only widening and glowing all the brighter.

"no wait, listen," Sans backed away faster, Grillby right in front of him now. "there's a good chance this thing's only temporary." His tailbone hit the altar, nearly causing him to fall over as his balance wavered. Sans leaned back, a hand resting on the altar to steady himself. "i still gotta ask lord fiersome about it but this might only be for, like, a year." Sans was leaning so far back his other hand had to brace against the altar to keep himself from falling onto it. "if you're really serious about us… if you could just wait a little while…" Grillby was leaning forward now, looming over Sans. Out of desperation Sans did a little hop to sit on the altar, scooting as far back as he could get and leaning back when that wasn't enough to stop Grillby's advance. "just a year… just a little wait…"

"… And if I don't want to wait?" Grillby placed a hand on either side of the altar, caging Sans in as he leaned forward until their faces were mere inches apart.

"you're not supposed to touch that, you'll piss off lord fiersome."

"… No, I don't think I will." Grillby's smile quirked into a smug smirk. His flames flared brighter, going from a soft orange and gold to pale yellow and white. They grew taller and taller until they couldn't go any higher and fell behind him like a long mane of hair. His clothes were eaten away, charring and flecking off as ash, even the spectacles got swallowed up. Underneath more clothes were revealed, shining and colorful.

Sans breathed out slowly, "lord fiersome."

"… Yes." He smiled all the brighter, a wide half moon of blinding white taking up most of his face, his eyes glowing just as brightly as they crinkled with his smile. One of his hands moved up to cup Sans's face.

"wait, hold on just a sec." Sans leaned even further back, a hand up between them. Grillby obligingly gave him some space. "are you really grillby or were you just disguised as him just now?"

"… 'Grillby' was only ever a mortal guise I would put on to better interact with the mortals in my care."

"so that was you this whole time?"

Grillby… Lord Fiersome… the elemental nodded.

"every drunken ramble, every meal you brought me, every slurred drinking song, all the drunks i watched you kick out… that was a god this whole time? when…" a blush lit up Sans's face, glowing almost as brightly as the fire elemental in front of him, "when we kissed?"

"… Yes, I'm sorry for the deception, I never planned to fall in love with you."

Sans looked away, his blush glowing so bright he could see it reflecting off the stone altar he was still sitting on. He didn't expect Lord Fiersome's… Grillby's… the other's hand to gently cup his face and pull him to look at him. Their foreheads touched and all Sans could see was blinding white.

"… I do love you, and after that kiss I hoped you felt the same way. I'm sorry I couldn't find a better way to tell you, but I want you by my side for the rest of your life."

Sans's grin spread wide, he threw his arms over Grillby's neck and held him tightly, foreheads still pressed together. "yeah, i'd like that too." He shifted the angle of his face so their mouths connected, drinking in his new husband's heat. A strong, warm arm wrapped around Sans, pulling him closer and supporting him as Grillby… Lord Fiersome… Sans's husband deepened the kiss.

* * *

AN: So we started with two dorks finally confessing to each other and we end with the same two dorks actually married. How many of you saw that coming a mile away? XD Honestly, even if the ending was obvious I still had fun making it happen.

Okay, so for those of you that are happy with the ending and that's enough story for you, there you go. For those of you who want to see where I want to take these two dorks next, chapter 1 of part 2: Divine Honeymoon will start next week (I know I usually take a week off between long projects, but since these are technically the same project we're skipping the break). There will be a slight bump up in the rating and also a few new warnings, so please watch for those when it's posted. Otherwise I'll see you guys there.


End file.
